I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize