So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize