So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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