Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think my moral compass just broke
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
