Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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