I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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