hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
