that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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