That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
