She's JV to your varsity
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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