You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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