Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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