Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize