look no pants
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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