I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
