I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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