new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize