You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she peed on how many people?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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