Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
