Cold hands, warm shart.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
After tacos, we're chasing women.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
