I think my fart just growled at me.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
