i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
