I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize