Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
