There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
