Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never underestimate the power of titties
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