I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
