Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
