shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
