How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize