I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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