Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize