it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
