grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's like iHOP with fire
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
