yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
