the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
