Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
