I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
