Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
