People in love make me want to vomit
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
