I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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