Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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