you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
