I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
