Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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