Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
