I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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