You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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