It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm passing your future prison.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
