I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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