Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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