she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
