We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
