Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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