Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
