It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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