ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't put those talents on a resume
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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