Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
