i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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