She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
