also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
