VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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