Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
