Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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