shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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